as i get older, halloween takes on a whole new spin for me. for one, i have a lovely daughter that wants to go trick-or-treating. that means, i spend ninety percent of the weekend creating her costume that took about two weeks to decide on. she will become the Fiery Fairy of the Forest with giant wings and a black dress that looks like it is on fire. very cool. i had every intention in the world to buy her a costume this year and not make it, like i have every other year, until my brother pops up with "only the cool moms make costumes, you used to be that cool." so, yeah, i made the costume. let's face it, NO MOM wants to give up cool mom status. in fact, i wore a shirt one day that i would have never worn out in public just because my daughter said i looked the coolest in it.

i digress. the second part of halloween's presto-chang-o is that now she wants me to dress up. okay kids, it's hard enough to get done with what i do for her, now i have to be dressed up?? that poses a small problem. gone are the days when i could wear spandex and skimpy clothes. gone are the times that i could go to huge parties and get drunk and hook up with the guy in the cool costume. and, most importantly, gone are the days of my contacts. do you know how ridiculous i look in full devil costume with glasses on? puh-lease. i think i should have gone as a librarian.


my soul is on fire, i wanted you to know

this painting will soon be on display in my home thanks to the artist, Heather Brown Truman of Bad!Kitty Arts. i will also be getting several other paintings from her, so if christmas is skimpy this year? i spent it on myself.

do you want to know why? because her art inspires me. it sets me on fire on the inside. do you have any idea how cool that is? and she does it so effortlessly. she sticks to one rule: she paints whatever the hell she wants to and puts her soul into every piece. the first time i stumbled across her stuff, i literally gasped. i haven't been moved by art like that in a looong time. sure, there are things that i dig, but nothing has made me say "i have to own this or small bunnies will die."

in addition to being such a wonderful artist, she is the coolest woman i have met in nearly ten years. she is full of life and vibrancy. she has a raw edge to her that is only dulled slightly by her extreme love of her children. she is rich and sensual with an ample dose of southern-fried common sense.

trust me, click on the picture, look through her stuff, be amazed at the artistry and be thankful that you did. oh, by the way, the ones that say "sold" are coming home with me.


through and through

i know, that's disgusting. but, that is the leg of one of my bosses after he got shot in the line of duty. he, by the way, is doing great. no limp, no stagger, no real damage. but, he did come away a different man.
he told me that he thought about quitting the force that very night, giving up on his law enforcement career and everything that it took to get him to this point in life. but he also said that if he did that, then what kind of message would he be sending to his son, his family, his community and all the criminals in it?
he didn't want one crazy man to make him live his life in fear. to end his career. to send the message that police will give up so easily. so, he's at work, doing what he loves. sure, every day he is a little more aware of the world, but at least he's still out there trying to make it safe.


"Is it okay if we call you 'Pop'?"

when my daughter was born, i knew that i wanted to call my dad "Pop", but i also knew i had to ask. that was what we called my grandfather and being called that meant a lot to live up to. with a grin warbling close on tears, my dad whispered "yes". he filled large shoes with that yes and gave a resurgence of hope in our family.

i talk with my dad every day. most days, it's more like four times. yesterday, he said something that caught me off guard. he said he was nervous because he was playing golf with some guys he didn't know. my dad, the Pop was nervous? wow....what a feeling. to know that someone who has always been so strong, could actually feel peer pressure. that he could actually get nervous. it suddenly made a lot of little things seem very, well, little.

my dad has been a constant source of inspiration, hope, love, encouragement, determination, willpower and wonder. he amazes me with his wit and laughter. his ability to walk into a room and light it up with his smile is unbelievable. i could go on, but i don't think i'd ever stop writing...


funny bunny

this little girl is the center of my world. she is smart, kind and beautiful. in addition to all of those things, she is freaking hilarious. i mean, snorting and gagging and spitting and laughing all in one. yep she's that funny.

if you have never heard a five year old say "bunny" in a creepy, killeresque voice, then you just have not lived. i'm here to tell you, that is the funniest thing ever. add a smushed up face and a frankenstein walk: comedic gold.


gorjus, just plain gorjus

i have to give props to www.vindaugagallery.com for this picture. the admin there is the one that took this shot. but this face, so simple and naked, has been the source of my inspiration for years. he pushed me harder and differently than anyone. he gave me books that i had never heard of. he played me music that moved me to tears and changed the way i heard songs. he taught me that it was okay for a man, a real man, to cry. he showed me that art went beyond colors on a page.

most of all, he looked at me from the inside out. my shell meant little to him because my heart, my soul, my very being was what he saw when he looked at me. he taught me to look at everyone like that. just so you know: the world is a lot prettier because of it.

I had something to say

I've been reading posts by my friends and family and realized that I, too, have something to say.
I had a blog once before, but shut it down.
I miss that outlet and so I'm bringing it back.