You see, I have a lovely five year old, you've seen her, pretty, blonds, BIG blue eyes, remember? Yeah well, she likes to sneak in my bed at ungodly hours because she knows I'm sleeping like the dead, and she crawls in and goes back to sleep. On my side. On my pillows. Which is not okay because my husband is already gone to work and his side is completely and totally empty. She could get over there but that would defeat the point of crawling in on my side and making sure I sweat to death in the bed because I'm trapped under the covers since she's sleeping on top of them and all I want it to stick my foot out because I really need the air and get my pillows back, is that too much to ask? IS IT??? apparently...
Now, before you get all upset thinking I'm a crappy mom because she peed in the bed, I'll explain something. As a present to us when we got married, we got a new bed. But not just any bed, mind you, it's a Tempurpedic that adjusts AND massages. Feel free to oooooh! and aaaaah! at this point in the story. I'm pretty attached to my bed. Telling my husband that if we got a divorce, he could have everything but I was getting the bed gives you an idea of how attached I really am.
SO, back to where I started. I'm lying in the bed, sweating to death, when the alarm goes off! I roll over to beat it and realize that I'm not where I was when I went to bed and there is a small child in my place. I notice all of this after I have smashed her to turn off the alarm, because I didn't know she was there. I'm still grumbly at the fact I've been booted from my spot, but at least know why it's so damn hot in there. Go back to sleep ( I refuse to get up the first time my alarm goes off! refuse!!) and play this whole thing out again.
But, wait? Something is different... what is it? oh. It's my daughter, looking at me and telling me that the bed is a little bit wet on her legs. Like the bed did it, people!! Like the bed did it. At this point, I'm beginning to really wake up and assess the situation. Then it hits me: she has peed in my bed. oh. my. god. I rip the covers back to see the kidney shaped pool of tinkles and ask her in my not nice voice, "Did you pee in the bed?!?!" shakes head yes. "Shit! Sorry, I said a bad word, go in the bathroom. And don't even think you're sleeping in my bed tonight!" And just like that, my feet hit the floor and I was awake. Thank god it's Friday.
6 comments:
oh no! that really does suck :( i too am VERY attached to my matress with it's wonderful height and foamy yet firm texture. i hope that you're able to clean it ok!
and thanks for the feedback over on my blog. the green background in the hipster hairnet pix is actually the walls of my bathroom! i photograph the "fake head" in there because it has the best light and i'm partial to shockingly bright colours. ;) but i'll try to experiment with photoshopping the saturation down a bit next time i do a photo shoot. thanks! :) and btw, please let me know once your packages arrive - espepcially the coasters! :)
AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
I'm so sorry! (lol) That's really terrible (rofl) I can't believe that happened to you! (lmao)
j/k
I'm really sorry... I'm mean, how do you clean this???
Believe it or not, my daughter threw up in my car yesterday. We went to McDonalds and all she ate were those apple dipper things you can replace your fries with. On the way home, she suddenly said, "I don't feel good." Then I heard THE NOISE.
I feel for you. Let me know what you do to get rid of the smell. Maybe I can incorporate your advice in my car...
love
Oh! It's too bad you don't live in Canada ;) because there is this fantastic product that you can get from Canadian Tire that I've been using for animal stains and messes with my puppy. Although it's intended for animal stuff, I'm sure it would work on ANYTHING. It instantely removes any stains and ALL odour within seconds. It's a miracle in a bottle I tell you! Check my blog for more info...I'll post soon. :)
Ohhh, been there done that! And, I do sympathize with you on 2 fronts. First, my daughter has taken to sneaking into our room after we have gone to sleep at night and she sets up camp...complete with sleeping bag, game boy, flash light, pillows, a minimum of 8 stuffed animals and a sundry of other stuff. The first time it happened I almost stepped on her in the middle of the night. Now, it's cramping the romantic life! Second, while my daughter no longer has accidents, my geriatric dog does. At least once a week...I use Oil Eater Degreaser and Woolite Pet stain/odor remover.
I hope you get your mattress clean! That's no fun.
Fortunately, I had a mattress cover on. One that I put on begrudgingly before, but am now eternally grateful for! Since, I was quick, I got it before it soaked in the bed. YEAH!! and I didn't tell my husband, heh.
Kiwi, we have a ritual every night that involves me yelling "Go Potty!!" and then I ask her a hundred time if she went potty. She did, and I know it, but you know how five year old bodies are, sometimes things don't go like we planned. I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in this!! Babies, slumber parties, geriatric doggies! Man, what lives we lead!! HA!!
Oh no!! The little darlings (can you smell sarcasm?) always with the little surprises! lol I hope you can get it cleaned up. Bummer.
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