Sometime you just need...

a swift kick in the ass. Thanks for being the one to give it to me, Pavel.

I have a lot going on with my jewelry, so I'll be in and out for a few days. In the meantime, here's some things to ponder. HUGS!

THE WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat." The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened itand found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for this Saturday


EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

(one more)

Weird but TRUE facts

1.The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

2.You share your birthday with at least 9 million people

3.Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

4.In every episode of Seinfeld, there is a Superman somewhere

5.No word in the English language rhymes with orange, month, silver or purple

6.The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, therfore no one had that name until the book was published

7.Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories per hour

8.You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

9.Every time you lick a stamp, you are consuming 1/10 of a calorie

10.Polar bears are always left handed

11.Dueling is legal in Paraguay, as long as both parties are registered blood donors

12.More people are killed by donkeys annually than in plane crashes

13.Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump"

14.Right handed people, on average, live 9 years longer than left handed people

15.China has more English-speaking people than the United States

16.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar

17.It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

18.Not even the most flexible person in the world could lick their elbow

19.Most lipstick contains fish scales

20.Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married

21.More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call

22.The word "typewriter" has every letter in the top row of the keyboard

23.If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes

24.A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death

25.The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field

26.A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why

27.The sound of E.T walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly

28.The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache

29.The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum

30.Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise

31.Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning

32.Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts

33.Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor

34.Pearls melt in vinegar

35.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee

36.If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb

37.The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off

38.The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone

39.Coca-Cola was originally green

40.Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear & smell better

41.111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

42.Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt

43.The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns

44.The nursery rhyme "Ring Around the Rosey" is a rhyme about the Black Plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores ("Ring around the Rosey"), these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores ("a pocket full of posies"). Furthermore, people who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall down")

45.The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910

46.People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second

47.If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die

48.If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out

49.The cigarette lighter was invented before the match

50.At least 75 % of people will try licking their elbow after reading this