five? or fifteen?

well, we survived the holiday. actually, it went pretty well. i got to go to a real mall, eat bison burgers with my mom, look over an entire city with my husband, watch movies with my dad, visit with the best aunt in the universe and fly airplanes with my daughter until my arms hurt. so, yeah, it went fantastic.

then we came home.

i don't know when it was that my daughter decided she needed to be a smart mouthed, fifteen year old, but she brought it ALL out for me yesterday. after ample room cleaning time ( i'm talking 2 weeks here) she decided that it wasn't that important. in fact, when i came back upstairs with a garbage bag, she just sat there. i mean, hello!! i'm throwing your toys away and you don't even try to save them. (no, i'm not really throwing them away, but i did sack some of them up and take them out of the room) in fact, she told me that i missed one!! can you believe that??? then after my tirade, i came back upstairs to find her shoes in the middle of the floor!! i'm thinking that there is no way, no way, that she would have just thrown them there after the gigantic fit i just had. so, i ask her why the shoes are there. DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID TO ME?!?! HUH? DO YOU?!?!?! "I thought that you could just pick them up."

as you can imagine it is at this point that i have to be rushed to the hospital because of the aneurysm that i just had. she's only five!! i wasn't that much of a smart ass until later in life, like when i could drive so my mom couldn't kill me. sheesh! so we have come to a family agreement that stipulates that she only has one thing in the whole wide world to clean and that is her room. if no room cleaning occurs, there will be time-outs followed by Chinese water torture and a good, old fashioned, Indian burn.

Holiday Shuffle

i'm heading home today to participate in the annual "Holiday Shuffle". it's the time of year where the shuffle begins and i try to fit every member of my family into a short time frame. if you have divorced parents, then you know what i am talking about. make room for mom because no one ever spends the holiday with her. don't forget about dad and step-mom! oh and then there is the grandmother, aunts, uncles and every other living member of my fam.

but wait! there's more!! i got married this year, so now i have MORE family to add. could it get any better?!? could it??? yes, kids it can!! please add an unhealthy dose of depression and a dash of nasty commentary provided by my grandmother. oh, and then there are the endless hours of holiday shopping in overcrowded malls!!! WOW! let me get the car started!!

granted, i enjoy seeing my family, mainly because i don't live there anymore and i can leave when i want, but it's very trying on my nerves. i'm sure that everything will go smoothly and that pigs will haul santa's sleigh this year. i suppose that since my family has already started calling so that they can get an ETA, i better go pack. let's hope i make it back in one piece.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

(this is meant to be read in a scared and wavering tone)

this is just dumb

click here to see what i'm talking about. i get that smoking is bad for you. i get that they want a cleaner environment. here's the problem. in case none of you know where the hell starkville, mississippi is, let me enlighten you. it's located in the northeast central part of the state and is home to Mississippi State University.

do you know what we have in starkville?? hmmmmm???

BARS, RESTAURANTS AND A COLLEGE.

that's it folks. we have a little bit of art, a little bit of music, but not much else. for god's sake, at least let the people smoke.

change is in the air

So, i decided to change the color of my blog. i luuuvvved the black, but since my eyesight sucks, it was hard to read my own posts. and that is just dumb. that's why we have the color change.

also, i have added a couple of new blogs to my links list. check them out, very cool women that are artists in their own ways.

in addition to the colors and the new links, i may be making other changes as well. for so long, i have had to refrain from saying what i really thought and felt and after a while, well, i guess i just forgot how to do it. it's like i don't want to offend anyone, so i won't curse or say the things that are really on my mind. this site is supposed to be about what inspires you. sometimes the things that inspire me aren't always happy. sometimes it is scary as shit, but it makes me open my eyes and see something beyond the scare that changes me. make sense?

i'm promising something to myself today: i will be honest about what i feel; i will be open about what i think; i will show the good and the bad. and one other thing universe, i have a friend that needs your help. if i could, i would do it all on my own, but i can't. that being said, send her someone that can. thanks for listening.

birthday boy

will you just look at the handsome man in that picture? isn't he a hottie?!!? well, that hottie happens to be my husband and today is his birthday. he thought that i was neglecting to write about him on here, but i had something special planned for today.

if i could, i would scream from the rooftops about how wonderful this guy is. first of all, we have been friends for nearly 10 years. during that time, we have seen some rough roads and he has helped me down quite a few of them. he is the kind of friend everyone wants to have. he's generous with his time, he listens and (girls, you won't believe this) i can ask him what he's thinking and he will actually tell me!! that, my friends, is awesome. He is loving and kind and every friend he has says the same thing: they would die for him. that is some kind of tight.

Secondly, let me tell you what a Prince Charming he is. I was being a giant spaz on our wedding day because i didn't know where he was, no one did. come to find out, he was buying us a brand new Jeep so that we could travel anywhere i wanted for our honeymoon. he showed up with the Jeep and a load of travel books, parked us on a rise and said "that way is north, that way is west. which way do you want to go?" cool? damn right.

Finally, he is unbelievably loving and kind. he not only made vows to me, but to my daughter as well, to be a good father. let me tell you, there aren't a whole lot like that anymore. he opens doors for me, he brings me lunch every day so that we can spend time together. he tells me that i'm beautiful when my teeth aren't brushed and my hair is rivaling Medusa's. he takes me to the park to show my cool things he saw. he makes me listen to the comedy channel on XM Radio, not to annoy me, but to hear me laugh. one time, when i was having a particularly bad spot in my life, he took me out to the lake and told me to hold my arms out. he told me to hear the water, to feel the air blowing my hair, to listen to the rustle of the leaves in the trees. then he pressed his hands to mine and whispered in my ear, "you are never alone. in all the things you see, hear and feel, i will always be with you." and he has.

happy birthday, johnny angel. you know how much i love you.

Roswell

please welcome the newest member of our family: Roswell. she got the name because she looked like an alien when she was born. although i wanted to adopt her, i knew that my husband was less than fond of animals. so, i told the lady to let her go live in another home. i thought i could do that, just send her away. apparently not. i hung up the phone and burst into tears ( that's right, i burst into tears). my darling hsuband looks at me and says "get the damn cat. i'm sure i will grow to like the creature".

so, i picked up my daughter from her sleep over and got Roswell, too. really, who could pass up this face? things weren't complicated enough around here, we needed a pet. but she's worth it.

how's your eyesight?

blah, blah, blah

sometimes, i get really bored during the day, so i think of things that annoy me, or things that i love or things i would rather be doing instead of being bored at work. the list:

1. i hate it when my hands are cold and i have to pee.

2. i hate it when people in really expensive cars cut me off and then honk at me like i did something wrong.

3. i love eating all the super, buttery pieces of popcorn first.

4. i like it when my nails are painted.

5. i hate it when my nail polish starts to chip.

6. i love to lay in the yard and make cloud shapes with my daughter.

7. i like being alone.

8. i don't like to be lonely.

9. i like finding things in the everyday that inspire me to be a little better, to be a little brighter.

10. i like being satisfied at work.

11. i hate being taken advantage of.

12. i like shopping but i hate spending money.

13. i hate the presumption that just because i am a woman, i am like every other woman.

14. i like the smell of a bonfire on a cold autumn night.

15. i like being different.

leaves